This is a list of small facts about how the two groups of Alabay handle issues of Marriage, Gender and Coitus.
How many spouses may a man or woman have?[]
One spouse is considered enough for the Kidu.
A Male Kido may have at most four wives.
Who decides on a marriage?[]
In the Kido the first marriage is always arranged. This is always in a way that will increase land between two families or stir the gene pool.
In the Kidu marriage is based off of the relationship between two people. A common proverb says that a man who marries blindly will have is manhood cut off in his sleep and fed to coyotes; a man who marries in love and friendship will have children who love him too
Can a marriage end in divorce? How?[]
Divorce in both the Kido and the Kidu is often called death.
For the Kido it brings family dishonorment.
For the Kidu it is failure to grow together as people and thus a sign of weakness. On the plains the community will kill their children and present them back to the Dark Spirits. The two who divorced will be expected to never marry again.
Who usually takes custody of children if a marriage ends for some reason?[]
For the Kido the mother takes her children to her parents and lives with them.
For the Kidu they are sentenced to death for being the spawn of failing love. They are presented back to the dark spirits they are said to come from.
How is adultery defined? What (if any) is the punishment? Who decides?[]
For the Kido adultery is sex without marriage. The consequences for being found out are often forced marriage.
For the Kidu it is sex with a person who you aren’t married to while being married. This leads to a divorce in most cases.
How are families named?[]
Names come from the mother for male children and from the father for female children in both groups.
What happens to orphans?[]
For the Kido they are sent to the mother’s closest sibling; if there are none then to a cousin. If this fails then they are sent to the father’s family in the same fashion.
The Kidu send the children to the oldest member of the community who has no children.
How are boy and girl children treated differently?[]
In the Kido girls are kept at home they are taught how to cook, clean, rear children, please a man, handle household supplies. Men are expected to hunt, fish, and take in the craft of their father’s.
Kidu girls like boys are expected to set up the tents, cook, do their own laundry, and be able to take care of the herd. This includes milking, shearing, thinning the herd, birth calves, and dressing a carcass. Girls are further expected to know how to please a man, do basic arithmetic, sew, weave, spin pottery, and rear a child. Boys are expected to know how to hunt, drive the herd, and collect clay.
Are premarital relations allowed?[]
For the Kido premarital relations are forbidden.
For the Kidu sex is only aloud after woman’s first period and a man’s ceremonial first ejaculation.
How does your society define incest? Rape? How do people react to these?[]
Incest will make people lightly squirm in their clothes. It is odd to talk about but fairly common. Marrying a cousin or closer is defined as incest. You may however marry a great-great grandparent if you are so (un)-lucky.
Rape is a man forcing himself onto a woman. For the Kido this will always incite anger. For the Kidu the exception is when it is used in a public sentencing. Then laughter ensues.
What, if anything, is considered a good marriage gift?[]
For the Kidu a bag of grain or a buffalo is a good gift (borderline great). For the Kido a weaving loom or a good pot would be a good gift.
What secret vice is believed to be widely practiced?[]
Many Kido believe that Kidu men sleep with each other when away from the women. The Kidu believe Kido women sleep with each other while their husband is in the field.
How do people react to homosexuality?[]
They fear it but only a little. As long as you eventually marry a woman who cares?
Is prostitution legal? How are prostitutes viewed? Is this accurate?[]
Many would ask, "What is that?" Often times though they are called seductive thieves.
What professions or activities are considered masculine?[]
The Kidu drink fermented milk in the wagon.
What professions or activities are viewed as feminine?[]
Weaving is a woman’s hobby.
What inanimate or sexless things are considered male or female?[]
A loom is often feminine plow or arrows are masculine.
Does this society connect the ideas of marriage with love?[]
Only the Kidu do.
What does this society mean by the word "virgin" and how important is it?[]
Virginity is only placed lightly on woman prior to their first period. Then it is gone. It is only slightly valued.